Are you rude? Take Steve Allen’s test and find out

In the forum there is a post called A tiny bit of evil. One example is a blurb from Cosmopolitan magazine on how to get a refund if you don’t have a receipt. If you don’t get your way, the blurb suggests, you should raise your voice and abuse the person behind the counter. The idea is that, by throwing a fit, you will get what you want.

A person of integrity would not see “throwing a fit at a stranger” as appropriate behavior. The question is therefore asked: how would someone get like this?

So I asked Google, “Why are people rude?” and came to this page:

Why Are People Rude?

It offers several theories. Here are three:

  1. “Their parents didn’t teach them the rules”
  2. “Schools don’t teach manners”
  3. “Some people are naturally evil”

In looking around on the site, I also came across this page, which offers another theory: “Offensive people have a blind spot to how their actions affect others.” Which is an interesting theory, because it is correctable. The theory suggests that it is simple ignorance, and education can fix that.

The article then suggests “The National Jerk Test”, created by Steve Allen in the 1970s, as a way to test yourself for rudeness. Google once again delivered, and here is the test:

The National Jerk Test or How to determine if you are a Jerk

I took the test. Perhaps I am offensive and do not realize it? Here is my chance to find out. I scored 6 points. For example, I have been known, when in a rush, perhaps to have been guilty of #18 once or twice, especially if the person is overtly talking on a cell phone. That’s 2 points. With 6 points, I am “a paragon of social virtue, and act jerky only on rare occasions.” I think my goal should be zero points going forward.

Given that the test is 35 years old, it is surprisingly relevant.

The whole topic brings up a good point. Society works better, and feels better for everyone, when people are polite to each other.

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Quote of the Day

People with clear, written goals, accomplish far more in a shorter period of time than people without them could ever imagine.

– Brian Tracy

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One of the things I hope we can accomplish with DecidingToBeBetter

Many people come to MarshallBrain.com and read the article How To Make a Million Dollars. They might find the article in Google or learn about it from a friend. Some of these people enjoy the article so much that they end up writing to me to ask a question or to ask for advice. I have often wondered, “how can I be more helpful to these folks who are now excited about the idea of starting something?”

One hope I had while gestating the DecidingToBeBetter idea was that I could provide a place where a community of like-minded people – people who would like to start businesses, projects, charities or whatever – could gather to share ideas, experiences, advice, enthusiasm, articles/books, etc. with one another. I would be one member of that community as well. Together we would have a collective energy that would make the process of getting things started easier. We would do that because starting a business, project, chartity, etc. is a valuable experience and a very positive step – it is definitely a way to become better.

It would appear, here in the early going, that this idea might actually work. Here are three examples of this community idea working in a start-up way:

just visited MarshallBrain.comg (he then followed up with I’ve decided to start a blog )

here it is, hope people will learn

Hello from a newbie

What I would like to do in this blog post is invite others to participate. Have you ever thought about starting a business/charity/project and have questions? Have you started a business/charity/project and have experiences and advice you would like to share? Come over to the Forum and post your questions and/or experiences. It will be fun to see what develops in 2011.

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Quote of the Day

Speech has allowed the communication of ideas, enabling human beings to work together to build the impossible. Mankind’s greatest achievements have come about by talking, and its greatest failures by not talking. It doesn’t have to be like this. Our greatest hopes could become reality in the future. With the technology at our disposal, the possibilities are unbounded. All we need to do is make sure we keep talking.

– Stephen Hawking

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Reaching your goals, with Anthony Robbins

This video contains several excellent points on reaching your goals, the first one being, “Any person who is successful, really successful, knows exactly what they want and they know why. The reason you need to know why is because, remember how I said yesterday that reasons come first, answers come second? You get enough reasons, you build a big enough Why, you can figure out how to go about anything. But you have to have Purpose because Purpose provides drive.”

See also the books page.

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Quote of the day

The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing.

– Albert Einstein

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A simple act of kindness, and the togetherness it demonstrates

The video below is interesting on several different levels…

  1. It starts off with him saying, “This year I decided I wanted more adventure in my life.”
  2. While adventuring, he finds a canister of film, and decided he is going to find its owner.
  3. He gives a polite, respectful critique of the photos.
  4. He states that he was the recipient of an act of kindness – a $26 gift
  5. He decided to use the gift to “try to get the film back to his mysterious European friends.”
  6. He created a very nice YouTube video to accomplish his goal.

It is a remarkable piece.

Think about this at a higher level. Think about an entire planet of billions of people, and you would like to find one of them to return something he lost.

Now think of the thousands of people who will devote a tiny bit of their time to help. I watched the video. I don’t know the two mystery people, so I cannot help directly. But having seen it, I can pass the video along to my fiends. You will watch it. You may know the two people, but probably not. You might pass the video along.

In that way, in what will probably be a very short period of time, the mystery will be solved. Thousands of people will work together, in a peaceful, friendly, human way, to help find the owner.

There is a goodness in that. A togetherness. Something to celebrate.

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By now, 90% of New year’s Resolutions have been abandoned. Here’s how to keep yourself on track.

Two weeks ago, on January 1, you may have made one or more New Year’s resolutions. We talked about the process in this post.

How are those resolutions coming today? If you have succeeded in sticking to your goals, congratulations! However, 9 times out of 10 those resolutions have already been abandoned by now. How do you get back on track and stay on track?

The DecidingToBeBetter page on The 10 Steps talks about this problem. It is variously know as “falling off the wagon”, “getting off tack”, ‘backsliding” and so on. One key factor in success is to immediately get back on track the day after you get off track.

Let me give you an example. Let’s say you decide to lose weight. I actually did this last year and lost 52 pounds, as described here, so I can speak from direct experience on this one. It took about 6 months for me to lose the weight (roughly 2 pounds a week). Every so often I would have a “bad day”. I would see a tempting piece of cake or a slice of pizza in the refrigerator. Or I would go to a party. Or I would be on the road and eat way too much at a restaurant. Whatever. I called these lapses “transgressions”, and they seemed to happen every 10 days or so.

You know what? It’s OK. I would simply decide the next day to get back in the saddle and proceed forward with the diet. In a day or two, the effect of the transgression is gone and the downward trend in weight has resumed.

Many people start their weight loss resolution on January 1, do well for several days and then have a “bad day”. At that point, they give up. Instead of giving up, simply get back on track. Understand that “bad days” are going to happen, forgive yourself instead of beating yourself up, and return to your diet the next day.

If you look at my experiences (I kept a daily diary), you can see that I was not a very good dieter. Even so I lost 52 pounds simply by getting back on track every time I messed up, and by keeping my goal in site over the long haul.

How do you keep your goal in sight? Here is one idea: repeat your goal to yourself every day:

By repeating it every day you keep it in the forefront of your conscious mind and also program your subconscious mind to stay on track. Try it!

See also: The 10 Steps

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Quote of the Day

Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in getting up every time we do.

– Confucius

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Today’s reading – The practice of non-judgment

Today’s reading comes from Chapter 1 of the book The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success:

There is a prayer in A Course in Miracles that states, “Today I shall judge nothing that occurs.” Non-judgment creates silence in your mind. It is a good idea, therefore, to begin your day with that statement. And throughout the day, remind herself of that statement each time you catch yourself judging. If practicing this procedure for a whole day seems too difficult, then you may simply say to yourself, “For the next 2 hours, I won’t judge anything,” or “For the next hour, I will experience non-judgment.” Then you can extend it gradually.

Why can the process of non-judgement be beneficial to you, even if you only try it once? This page offers a perspective:

Think about how many times a day this may happen to you. Maybe at work or standing in line, somewhere you observe people, and you look around and decide to make judgment. I don’t like her dress. I think she looks rude. She isn’t talking very nice on the phone. I wonder if she is cheating on her boyfriend.

All these thoughts can cause your own mind to go to places that cause some kind of negative emotional focus. Being judgmental, even when you don’t have some kind of emotional connection, can cause you to think that you are much better than someone. Or you may degrade them in your mind to make you look or feel better. This is the worst kind of judgment because it only hurts you in the long run. You are attracting back to you whatever you think, and you speed up this process by what you feel.

By being non judgmental about your surroundings, you will be doing yourself a favor. You may not like what others look like or do but it is not you who should make the judgment. Let others be who they are and respect the fact that they are creating their own reality. Don’t make your reality a part of what they do or say because of what you think about them.

Focus on what you want in your own life and focus on what you are creating. You don’t need to be worried about what others are creating. If someone asks for your opinion or advice give it to them without judgment. You will take the Law of Attraction to a new level in your own life when you leave judgment of all things and people behind.

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